Day 7 – Have You Found Someone You Want to Date?
Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil. (Prov 4:26-27) Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not. (Ps 17:5)
I have yet to read an account in Scripture that talks about Godly dating. There are recorded courtships where parents were involved in the selection of their children’s mates, but no signs of dating. It caused me to wonder why. If dating is not mentioned in the Bible, why not? If dating is not mentioned in the Word, then how did this custom come about? A believer should be asking these types of questions before embarking on something as important as finding a person who he will spend the rest of his life with. In biblical times, parents picked spouses for their children. This may have been because wisdom comes with age and parents could discern whether a mate was suitable.
Abstain from all appearance of evil. (1 Thess 5:22)
What a great verse to go along with this topic. The world’s view of dating means being alone with someone of the opposite sex. When a couple is alone, it not only opens the door for many temptations but others are always watching – whether those watching are saved or unsaved, your good intentions will be misinterpreted and your testimony will be questioned or even tarnished. I speak from experience and I advise any man and woman who are dating to take heed to this. Dating should be done in the open and with adult chaperones if you want to keep your testimony flawless. Some of you may think that these words are old fashioned. They may be at that, but your testimony is the only thing you have in this world that you will take with you to Heaven, my friend. Are you willing to let it be tarnished over a relationship?
Dating exposes you to situations and trials you may or may not be ready for. You can be quite certain that the devil will use dating to lead you to temptation. Here are a few Scriptures which cover the weaknesses of the flesh. It would be wise to read them often and apply them to your spiritual walk as you consider spending time with someone of the opposite sex.
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. (1 Jo 2:16)
For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. (Gal 6:8)
For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: (Rom 7:18a)
That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; (Eph 4:22)
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, (Gal 5:19)
Satan does not play fair. He will cut you absolutely no slack in this area. You can be certain that temptation will come your way. Your thought life and your heart life will be placed in situations you would not normally be experiencing. So be prepared.
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: (1 Pet 5:8)
If you go into dating with this foreknowledge and the desire to do God’s will as you seek to learn about this person, you will be able to spot the devil’s sly work.
Learning about a person does not mean you should become familiar with that person in a physical sense. The world’s views are “in our face” every day through advertising. Dating couples holding hands, caressing and kissing are not Scriptural, my friend. In fact, the media is not ashamed and even boasts at no longer blushing over matters that were once saved for married couples. The Word says
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman (1 Cor 7:1)
Becoming familiar with someone through dating definitely opens the door to touching – even if it is just hand holding. What did Paul say in this last verse? It is good for a man not to touch a woman. There is a reason this verse is in the Word.
I was not saved when I dated my husband. For one thing, I was an immature teenager with one thought in my mind and that was to be with a boy. My husband’s thoughts were surely not on what was best for me but what was best for his fleshly desires. Neither of our thoughts were focused on being mature. Our thoughts were not focused on being responsible adults. Our thoughts were strictly on fulfilling our fleshly desire of dating each other because our friends were all dating. These are not thoughts of a mature person ready for the dating scene. It is obvious that dating is not for the immature teenager. Allowing teens to date is like give a child the go-ahead to play with matches. They will most certainly be burned. They will most certainly lose their testimony. Notice that 1 Cor. 7:1 speaks of a “man” not a boy.
Dating by Christians, therefore, should not be considered “dating” per se but should be thought of as “getting together in the presence of others” in order to learn more about each other. The distractions brought on with people around you will cause you to stay focused on getting to know this person. It will keep your mind off the lusts of the flesh. Having other adults around you will also uphold your testimony. No one with evil intentions will be able to point their finger at you and spread malicious gossip if you do not leave room for the devil to sneak in.
The best chaperones are your parents if they are available, adults in your church, your Pastor and his wife, etc. Not only are they wise but they will “see things” about this person that you may not see. There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors!
In closing on this issue, remember one thing. As you are getting to know someone, keep in mind that once you are married, your spouse is yours for life. There is no Godly way to undo this mistake if you choose the wrong one. Marriage is a very serious commitment, not only between the couple but before God. Don’t be too hasty in making this decision. It is better to be single and right before God than to be married to the wrong person only because you were in love with the idea of being married. Be vigilant because your adversary the devil is seeking to deceive you – be diligent in seeking God’s will and He will guide you.
Dear God…
Help me to see with opened eyes
So I am not deceived
Help me to stay chaste and pure
As I seek the one for me
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