Day 23 – Married to an Unbeliever
1 Pet. 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
Let’s move on to verse 2 today. So what does chaste conversation really mean? God’s Word has not changed and the definition of chaste 2000 years ago still means the same today. Noah Webster defines chaste as:
(2) Free from obscenity. While they behold your chaste conversation. 1 Pet 3. (3) In language, pure; genuine; uncorrupt; free from barbarous words and phrases, and from quaint, affected, extravagant expressions.
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Tit 2:5)
The older women were commanded to teach the younger women to be chaste so that the word of God would not be blasphemed. This chaste woman is not only chaste in word but in deed also.
When a woman is not chaste in conversation, she is said to blaspheme God’s Word. What do you consider chaste conversation then? What is so important about a woman’s words that she should be on the alert? We all know what it means to blaspheme. Peter says that if we do not practice chaste conversation, we are blaspheming God’s Word. We are cursing God’s power in our husband’s lives, ladies! Our unchaste behavior and words will be like stench to your husband’s nostrils. He will despise God even more. You have quite a heavy responsibility, dear lady. I personally cannot believe that a woman would actually speak to her unsaved husband (or disobedient husband) in such a way as to blaspheme God’s Word. If a Christian woman is doing this to her unsaved husband, how in the world will that lead him to Christ? Your dear husband has a better chance of getting saved because you are saved than the unsaved household. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife,… (1 Cor. 7:14a) He is set apart in God’s eyes because of you. Surely you don’t want to be the cause of God’s Word to be blasphemed in his mind.
Notice Peter also says that her chaste conversation is coupled with fear. God will allow trials to come her way due to her mouth that she would not have experienced had she practiced chaste conversation. There will be problems in her life which she will probably blame on her husband rather than look to her own spiritual walk. Many pitfalls are due to the wife not exercising her responsibility of practicing chaste conversation.
It’s so important that unsaved husbands or disobedient Christian men see the Lord working in their wives’ life. Husbands need to see God’s Goodness at work.
Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. (Mat 5:13)
Dear lady, your “conversation” to your husband should be making him thirsty for the Lord. Not by quoting Bible verses but by your sweetness and by your actions toward him. Your love for Christ should be such that it spills over onto your husband.
Does your world revolve around this man God has given to you? Do you strive to please him and do those little things that he loves? Do you still see your husband in those same girlish eyes you saw him while you were dating? Do you still laugh at his corny jokes? Or do you treat him differently because he’s not saved or he’s disobedient? Ladies, what is in our hearts will come out of our mouths.
But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. (Mat 15:18)
What we feel in our hearts about our husbands will show up in our words and in our actions toward them. You must remember that the woman he married has changed drastically. She is not the cursing, drinking, worldly woman he was use to. He now has a different woman and it’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde to him. You’ve made a transformation that he did not authorize so he’s feeling threatened and confused, I’m sure.
Your husband will only accept this new you if you treat him the way Christ would treat him. What would the Lord say and do? Christ submitted to the Father’s will to the point of dying on the cross for us. Are you submitting to your husband in the same manner? We’ll cover delicate issues on another day but in the mean time, you were not created to be his helpmeet only when he is a good Christian husband. Peter is clear and deliberately directs verses 1-6 to the woman whose husband is not saved or has a backslidden husband. It’s so much more important for the wife of such a man to be in close fellowship with her God. Only through Him and His Word can this wife love her man unconditionally with that same “agape” love the Lord has for us.
What’s the best thing a wife of such a man can do? She should pray for her husband because this is her power; ask for God’s wisdom in dealing with every situation because this is her ammunition; be faithful in her Bible reading because this is her strength. Don’t let up! Don’t give up! Be faithful! Be strong in the Lord.
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. (Eph 6:10)
It is the Holy Spirit who will draw your husband to Christ. Let the Holy Spirit do His job. Get busy doing your job as his helpmeet and leave the rest to God.
Dear God…
Help each lady here today
Be chaste in word and deed
So her man can find You
And recognize his need.
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