Morning Manna

Day 16 – Arguing

The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with. (Pro 17:14) Imagine with me this morning a dam with a small leak. The water slowly trickles out until the hole becomes bigger and bigger. Eventually, disaster strikes and the raging waters flow wreaking havoc in its path. I liken arguing to flood waters. The more we desire to prove our point, the more the argument escalates. Eventually this argument becomes a full-blown fight and the flood gates have been opened. Words are said that should not have been said. Sadly, these words cannot be taken back because they have already caused the damage and pain. They produce a flood of turmoil and it takes days, sometimes weeks, to clean up the mess we’ve made. Oh the havoc we wreak with our mouths! If only we would glean from the Word of God and apply God’s counsel to our lives. We would keep ourselves out of trouble.

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (Pro 15:1) The effects of an argument are not the same if you are the only one involved. Therefore, heed God’s Word and give a soft answer. If someone criticizes you, how can they be angry with the response, “I’m sorry if I have offended you. I’ll try not to do that again.” Or even, “Forgive me for that, I was not aware of how much this bothered you.” Sadly, too many Christians today think that they have “arrived” as a human being when they can tell somebody off or put someone in their place. This is not Christ-like nor does the Lord exhort us to be this way. When Christ was being mocked, He did not give them a piece of His mind.

Our harsh words will only stir up anger in the other person and fuel our own. It will allow the flood gates to open up and damage what is precious to us. It takes more of a man (or woman) to control his tongue than to speak his mind. [To the chief Musician, even to Jeduthun, A Psalm of David.] I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me. (Psa 39:1) Be careful! One’s character is revealed as he speaks his mind. I have never seen this verse better put into action than in the life of my own Pastor. No one could possibly start an argument with him even if they tried. He does not argue back. Every kind word I have heard about him has included how gentle and kind he is. He can be assertive when the need arises but he has never allowed anger to rule his tongue.

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Heb 12:15) I especially love this verse because it goes with the flooding theme of today’s devotional. The root of bitterness springs up within us and the devil uses it to his advantage. The devil says, “Go ahead, speak your mind – let him have it, he deserves to be put in his place.” The devils loves it when he can cause us to concentrate on our own feelings and he stirs up that bitter root within us. Can you have an argument if your heart isn’t bitter?

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. (Phi 2:3) If we truly believed this verse and applied it to our lives, what would be the outcome of arguments that come our way? One who esteems the other better than himself will not be quick to tear down the other but will be totally interested in healing the conflict. He will carefully choose his words because he is esteeming that person more than himself. Would you like to be on the receiving end of hurtful words? Of course not. So if you esteem the other better than yourself, you will not be quick to speak hurtful words.

I once heard a message using a tube of toothpaste as an analogy for arguing. As impossible as it is to put toothpaste back into its tube, it’s just as impossible to take back those words that should not have been spoken! The damage is done – the words have been spoken and can never be taken back. The toothpaste is everywhere and what a mess it has made. These analogies are great ones and we should take heed to their message to avoid damaging a relationship to the point of no return. Sadly, we hurt the ones we are closest to – why that is, I’ll never know. Is it because we are most comfortable with them and feel free to speak our minds? Rather than be this way, we should think the opposite – we should be so comfortable with them that we want to be even more careful not to speak our minds for fear of hurting them.

Is losing a friend or loved one worth speaking your mind? A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. (Pro 18:19) Wouldn’t it be better to choose your words carefully and save that relationship? My friend, if you repeatedly hurt the same person with your words, you chance losing that friend. God is only trying to help us through His Word. It’s so important to place into action and apply what we read so that we may glean the “good” that God intends for us. If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain. (Jam 1:26) As born-again Christians, we should be shining examples to those around us of how we are doers of the Word and not hearers only.

Dear God…
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. (Psa 19:14)