Tag: Wife

Single or Married

On November 16, 2021

Are you thinking of getting married? Have you met the man that you’re certain is the one that the Lord selected for you? Are you going into marriage with the thought that it is a permanent one and not one where you can get a divorce? These are all questions that you should ask yourself before you move forward. Too many women are in love with the idea of marriage and don’t stop to think there will be repercussions.

This is a devotional originally written in 2007 and is geared specifically toward these unmarried women who are seeking to be married. It comes from a different perspective since I was saved after I was married. It also reveals the difficulties of being married to someone who isn’t saved.

I pray you are blessed!

8 Steps to Living Peaceably With Your Unsaved Husband

By Kate Plourde

On September 22, 2021

In Bible Studies, Christian Living, Christian Walk, Marriage, Submission

Written in October 2006

Don’t look for a way out of this marriage. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. (1Co 7:12)

And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. (1Co 7:13)

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. (Eph 2:10)

Ask the Lord to reveal to you how HE wants you to act so He can complete His task through your current situation.

Be practical. Is it practical to think that your dear husband will act like a Christian? Do you expect your dear husband to get saved right now? And he said unto them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power. (Act 1:7)

Rest in this … God is at work in your dh’s life as He promised.

Behold ye among the heathen, and regard, and wonder marvellously: for I will work a work in your days, which ye will not believe, though it be told you. (Hab 1:5)

Do you remember why you are married? Do you wonder why God allowed you to become a Christian while you were married to an unbeliever? For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. (1Co 7:14)

The word sanctify means “set apart.” Your husband will receive extra opportunities to witness God’s grace and mercy. Another reason to stay married to your dear husband is for the children. This same verse says children living with a Christian parent are holy rather than unclean. Therefore, remember that your presence in their lives is of great influence.

Concentrate on your behavior. You MUST walk the walk and forget the talk. Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. (1Ti 4:12)

You need to be salt and light in your home. Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. (Mat 5:13)

Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. (Mat 5:14)

Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. (Mat 5:15)

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. (Mat 5:16)

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; (1Pe 3:1)

While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. (1Pe 3:2)

Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men: (2Co 3:2)

Your life may be the only Bible your dear husband or children will ever read.

Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel; (Phi 1:27)

Share your faith. There does come a time when you CAN share your faith but remember to do so “without the word” (1 Pet. 3:1). There are two very appropriate situations when you can verbally witness to your dh:

(1) Dear husband may notice something in your life (an attitude or behavior that glorifies the Lord) and he’ll tell you how much he appreciates you. At this moment, remind him that this was not the way you were before coming to Christ. Explain to him how much better your marriage would be if you could share these changes together.

(2) Wait until your dear husband is struggling with the emptiness in his life or is experiencing difficulty in a relationship with another person. Remind him that you once felt the same way, and this is why you surrendered your life to Christ.

A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it! (Pro 15:23)

The Lord GOD hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned. (Isa 50:4)

Don’t hate your dh. If he continues to resist your words and rejects Christ, be VERY careful not to become resentful or angry toward him. And the LORD said unto Samuel, Hearken unto the voice of the people in all that they say unto thee: for they have not rejected thee, but they have rejected me, that I should not reign over them. (1Sa 8:7)

He that heareth you heareth me; and he that despiseth you despiseth me; and he that despiseth me despiseth him that sent me. (Luk 10:16)

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. (2Co 4:4)

Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots. (Luk 23:34)

Therefore, give your dear husband a little consideration based on your knowledge of his lost condition. Give him some space and patience, and pray that God will open his eyes.

Pray. Prayer is your greatest tool in the struggle to keep your unequally yoked marriage going. Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (Jam 5:16)

Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. (Luk 10:19)

Pray without ceasing. (1Th 5:17)

Never give up!

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. (Psa 27:14)

Kate Plourde
April 21, 2006

Biblical Submission

By Kate Plourde

On September 22, 2021

In Bible Studies, Marriage, Submission

Written in October 2006

I am so excited about this mini study I just finished! It’s like God gave me a golden nugget today and I am whoopin’ and hollerin’!!

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Gen 3:16)

As I studied this verse, I noticed that Eve’s desire would be to her husband. Hmmmm, he was the only man there at the time. She had not given birth to any children yet. Why would God tell her that her desire would be to her husband? Surely the word desire here cannot mean that she would only want him. That got me to thinking that maybe this word “desire” was not really what I thought it meant.

Eve’s desire could not possibly mean that she would desire Adam because he was the only man around – of COURSE she would desire him. We women automatically desire our husbands in the physical and emotional sense. It is something that is natural within us. So what could this word “desire” mean?

I have been taught that we should obtain our definitions of certain verses in the Bible by finding other verses that use the same word and let God’s Word interpret the meaning. As I searched out the word “desire,” I found that the English word “desire” is found in 109 verses. There are 38 different Hebrew and Greek instances of this word which are translated into just the one word in the English language! Each of the Hebrew and Greek instances vary in meaning. I found that the Hebrew word for this particular word is #8669 in Strong’s (teshûqâh “pronounced tesh-oo-kaw”) and is found in only two other places in the Old Testament (Gen. 4:7 and Song of Sol. 7:10 – I pasted the verses below.) These two scriptures clarify the meaning of this word.

Gen 4:7 If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.

The definition I found basically meant “to want to be in control of or to have the rule over.” God chose this particular Hebrew word in these three particular verses for a reason. So I found it interesting to see that #8669 was used only three times – twice in Genesis where we learn about our beginnings and the third time in the beautiful Song of Solomon, depicting a beautiful marriage.

Gen 4:7 If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.
Son 7:10 I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.

Here in Genesis God tells Cain that he still had the rule over Abel because of his birth right.

In Song of Solomon, her beloved has the rule over her.

What have I gotten out of this mini study? It is clear to me that Eve was told that her desire would be to take the leadership role in the home, to rule over her husband and household. Just as Satan tried to take the rule over God to guide and direct Adam and Eve. I loved how God immediately followed that statement with “and he shall rule over thee.” The world’s definition of desire would not fit here. If Eve is told she would desire Adam emotionally and physically, why would God then say that Adam would rule over her?

I’m convinced that Adam and Eve’s marriage was perfect in the Garden of Eden. Adam was the head of his home and Eve was content with him ruling over her. After Eve submitted to temptation from Lucifer, she strayed from God’s and her husband’s will and sin entered the picture, she sinned. She sinned by exercising her own will – it was her choice. Because of her choice, she would now have to fight that choice even greater. She would now have a battle with wanting to lead the home. It makes perfect sense to interpret this verse in this manner.

As a result of this willful sin in Eve (which was passed on to all women), there are many women who chose to exercise their own will rather than allowing their husbands to lead. The husband’s role is knocked down, he is crushed into a wimp and his rightful leadership role is taken over by the wife. I was reading an article just yesterday that in the U.S., the “single” families exceed the families which have both a husband and wife. Is it any wonder? But women do not have to be this way… it is a choice that we make. We either do God’s will by submitting to our husbands or we don’t. We are not destined to repeat this sin – with Christ, we can overcome our self will and be the submissive wife He wants us to be.

We women are not equipped to be leaders. We were created to be their helpmeets, not vice versa. Granted, in today’s world there are women who are presidents of their own firm, doctors, etc. But if they are married, the husband is their head. From the beginning, God has said that the husband would rule over the wife. The man is equipped with leadership skills and decision making for his family. It’s not to say that we women cannot possess those skills. But it is to remind us that there must be order in the home, just as there is order in the universe, order in the world, order in the government, order in law enforcement, etc. God is a God of order as is evident throughout Scriptures.

When we go outside God’s plan for us, we will be unhappy and discontent. Our role is to be a helpmeet to our husbands and to honor him in all we say and do.

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. (Pro 31:12)

I pray this study will speak to your hearts and give you a clear picture of what God intended for us women.

Study on Submission and Obedience

By Kate Plourde

On September 22, 2021

In Bible Studies, Submission

Written in February 2007

One cannot be submissive without obedience – one cannot be obedient without being submissive. They go hand-in-hand, don’t they?

Our children are commanded to obey. We are commanded to obey God. We are commanded to submit ourselves to God. Woman are commanded to submit themselves to their own husbands. We can glean much if we read verses dealing with this topic and applying it to our lives. If we practice true biblical obedience and submission, how can an unsaved husband or disobedient husband to the Word help but see God’s goodness through our actions? If we, as wives, are not obedient and submissive to our husbands, how can we expect our children to be obedient to us? If we’re not practicing what we preach to our children, are we not hypocrites?

But if ye will not obey the voice of the LORD, but rebel against the commandment of the LORD, then shall the hand of the LORD be against you, as it was against your fathers. (1Sa 12:15)

When we know that God wants us to do something, yet we don’t do it, we are being disobedient. We are sinning.

Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. (Jam 4:17)

Therefore, if God tells us to submit to our own husbands in all things, and we don’t submit in one little area, are we not sinning?

And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD?

Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. (1Sa 15:22)

We can play the game of sacrifice all we want, but if we disobey in one area, we are not a delight to the Lord. Let’s say my husband tells me to do something I don’t want to do. Instead I make up for it by going the extra mile in doing other things for him – that is the game of sacrifice rather than obedience. I may have all the warm fuzzy feelings in the world because I did all those extra things for him, but I did not do what he asked me to do.

But this thing commanded I them, saying, Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people: and walk ye in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well unto you. (Jer 7:23)

When we obey, God says it will be well with us. We will have peace in our homes and foremost in our hearts. Women are emotional creatures. God made us that way. If we are trying to be a yielded vessel to God, we know automatically when we are not doing right. We do not have that peace that our actions are what God wants. We lie to our own selves when we say that we are doing the “right” thing yet we know it is not our husband’s will.

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. (Col 3:20)

Don’t expect your children to obey you if you don’t obey/submit to your husband. Your children do not have to witness your unsubmissive spirit – it will be evident in other ways and you will reap with disobedient children. When your children are disobedient, look inward – examine yourself first. Are you a submissive wife? If you are, then deal with your children accordingly. If you’re not, then deal with yourself accordingly.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Gal 6:7)
Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: (Col 3:22)

Obedience and submission is such an important lesson for us to learn. Without it, there is chaos. That is the reason the world is in the shape it’s in. We have lost our singleness of heart (purity of heart – separation) and our fear of God. We do not see our disobedience as sin. We think we know better or have more wisdom than our husband. But the Word does not say to submit only when we think it’s right.

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; (1 Pe 3:1)

Why would Peter say this? The “conversation” of a meek and submissive wife speaks volumes to her unsaved or disobedient husband. He does not need the Word. He sees the Word in action by her submission!

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Eph 5:22) Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. (Col 3:18 )

Twice Paul commands the wives to submit their own husbands. Take notice and obey. To do otherwise, is sin.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (Jam 4:7)

When we submit ourselves to our husbands, we are submitting to God’s will for our lives – as unto the Lord. God did not create us to rule our homes. No matter if we could do a better job than our husbands can, it is not our place to rule and go against his wishes. We do not have the God-given wisdom and discernment that God gives to men. We were made to nurtur, not lead. We women are emotional and do not base our decisions on logic as a man does. The devil will whisper in our ear and say that we know better but we should not succumb. We are to resist the devil – submit ourselves to God by submitting ourselves to our husbands.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Eph 5:33)

The word reverence is only ever used in Scriptures as it relates to God, a king, superiors or our husbands. That should tell you something. Noah Webster says reverence means:

…to regard with fear mingled with respect and affection. We reverence superiors for their age, their authority and their virtues. We ought to reverence parents and upright judges and magistrates. We ought to reverence the Supreme Being, his word and his ordinances.

If a woman willingly submits to her husband, she reverences him. She shows him that she gives him the respect he rightly deserves. He should not receive it only when he earns it – his position as husband and head of your home says he deserves reverence. This is God appointed and God commanded. Without this order, there is chaos in the home.

Godly submission, obedience and reverence are our goals in life, ladies. We are to practice, practice, practice! When you go against your husband’s wishes, can you honestly admit that your heart and your home are at peace? Honestly? If you are experiencing strife in your home, look to your heart first and see if you are being the submissive wife God has commanded you to be. Only then will you know for sure. If you’re not, repent and ask forgiveness from God and from your dear husband.

If you are submitting to your husband as unto the Lord, God will give you grace during your trial and will provide for every need you have. He does not forsake us!!!